Have you ever been in a state where you don’t even know which is right or wrong, which is the fact or not, which is best or worst, which is question or answer?
The state that we can’t even stand on our feet, we need someone not everyone, just one person is enough to keep you stand still.
It’s hard. So hard that even your mind went blank everytime you try to figure everything out.
“Why is this happening to me?”
“What have I done that I am like this now?”
As you live the day, the only thing you think is why life is so cruel to you, why is it so unfair. Thinking about this all day long, losing the appetite to eat, do something, or even just talk. Tears fall or not is the same, the different is just it’s wet when crying.
You got angry to everything around you. You feel like dying.
But something is not right. Why can’t I figure it out? As the time pass by, why can’t I still figure it out? Why am I feeling so wrong?
They said time will answer everything. They’re wrong! Time won’t give us answer or explanation! We have to dig it on our own!
I learn how to take responsibility of my present after I learn about my past. No more blaming on other just because they are related.
Everytime I found myself stuck in a situation, I always ask, always. No matter how many time, I will keep asking. No matter how many people I ask, I will keep asking until I can jump to conclusion. If I am wrong, I’ll ask over and over again until this ‘Me’ satisfied.