Even if it’s something that I should be holding on, I will and have to let it go.
But when I let go, this heart just won’t accept it and keep pushing me to you. Even my mind and logic can’t control this heart of mine. I keep holding back.
Holding back my tears.
Holding back my will to meet you.
Holding back my emotion and anger.
Holding everything back just to keep you free.
Nowhere to run for screaming about how much I miss you, how much I want you.
I keep telling those who run a coward when actually I am the COWARD.
I’m just too scared of getting rejected the second time. Because once is enough to break, no, to tear my heart and I can’t even move my feeling an inch. I was just a kid back then. I didn’t even know what I really need. What I want? What I need? I didn’t even know the difference.
But I’m a grown up now. I just realize that my feeling back then was a real thing. I just realize that I can’t replace you with any other man. No matter how good they are, no matter how badass they are ’cause your the best at them for me. You’re the best and the worst. Your my angel and my devil. So how the hell am I suppose to do??!!! Can’t we have a try once more?